the joy of being understood
A little less than a couple of decades ago, when Sanjay was a little boy aged maybe 10 or so, his family used to go regularly on trips typically around South India. The whole group of family and some family friends, typically numbering around 15, would cram into a Matador van and head off to some beach or river or temple or all of them included in the itenary.
So on one such trip they had gone to a beach. After a great time running around on the sand, collecting sea shells, trying out sand sculptures, etc, it was time to return home.
About to enter the van, young Sanjay was examining his beautiful collection of sea shells, when something very surprising caught his attention. A mollusc peeped out of one of the shells and crawled back in. He showed it to some others but either nobody noticed, or nobody seemed to be bothered.
Suddenly, he started backing off towards the beach again.
The elders were angry, it was late and as usual the kids had had a hard time wrapping up the evening’s fun. They yelled at him to get in quickly… But amidst a groan of annoyance he dashed off towards the beach again, a good few hundred meters away from the parked van.
He knew they were waiting and he’d really get it, but he simply had to do this. Running as fast as his feet could carry him he raced towards the water. When he was close enough, he flung one of the shells towards it with all his might towards it, and ran back.
He returned to the van and hurriedly got in. The elders complained that there was a limit to getting addicted to playing on the beach… he was delaying everybody… etc!
But in the midst of that and all the other general chatter, his Thatha (grandpa) quietly commented… “he wanted to save it”.
With this one comment, none of the scoldings bothered him any more… atleast his Thatha had understood. 🙂 He felt very happy.
Oh.. so sweet 🙂 And yes, that’s what is special about Thathas 🙂
I remember once when I had found a shell with a mollusc like what you found… I had not expected it, so I got very scared and threw it far far away, screaming! I don’t know what happened to the poor thing 🙁
Yes children need to be understood .. most of their actions have very special meaning … I see that most of the parent’s in today’s generation try to observe children more keenly (in their limited time) .. (I am not saying that our parents did anything less .. their love knew no boundaries, just that it was different)
heh heh sshruti, I can imagine – poor you as well as mollusc!
Anitha, I too think parents are definitely a lot more liberal than before… for example how they encourage more fearlessness or have a look at Leonid’s blog on parenting. I guess the next generation might be even better 8)
Beautiful storry, Sanjay. Really. 😉
Hey thanks Leonid
Sanjay, I can imagine the yellings. Although I don’t remember the incident to be honest. You have your dad in you when it comes to those things. Hmmm… dear Tata he was the best grandpa anyone could ever ask for. It is so important to listen to our kids. It is so easy to lose patience and ignore what they say. I know I have done it. But I try hard not to. The look on their faces, the disappointment the sadness. But when you do listen and try to understand what they are saying, the joy and happiness that’s on their faces is priceless.
sanjay, made nice reading. but somehow i still feel the previous generation were better when it came to raising kids. their main strength was a joint family system. and kids got used to seeing and learning from so many people around them. but today, due to isolated family system, kids’ companion is invariably PC and TV(and a pack of chips). there are more health(physical and mental) problems that todays’ kids are facing.
sometimes i feel technological advancement has been more of a bane than a boon.