she managed to put up with me for a year

Today marks a year’s completion of married life. Having wished others countless number of times, this was the first time I ever celebrated my own wedding anniversary! :mrgreen:

Its been quite a good day – having started the day by waking up at 4 AM entirely by mistake (for almost a week I’ve been waking up around 8 AM and going late for work). We had a nice morning walk in Sankey Tank and got quite a few gifts at home on our return. I found a new tshirt in my cupboard this morning, and plan to get her a music system (portable one to keep on the desk – and plays tapes, cds and mp3s) She won’t be reading this post very soon, so it will still be a surprise for her! 😉

Later on Bellur visited us as well – he was the first one to ever wish me on an anniversary, having sent an SMS the previous day itself 🙂 Went out with family for lunch to Food Court on Cunningham Road where we experimented with a mix of Chinese, Mexican and Chaat. Later on in the evening we two had some quiet moments roaming around.

I think the year has been pretty good so far. I wanted to write many things, somehow when I’m actually writing this post, running short of words. Because I’ve found this almost impossible to express to anyone so far, even those very close to me so far – because I find that every time I try I end up getting thinged into some or the other completely irrelevant ‘typical category of married couples’. Everyone is unique, and so is every couple!

So will keep it brief here for now.

One thing is I feel, I am definitely a better person now than a year earlier, there happens to be a marked improvement in many aspects of my perception of life (and consequently my character and behaviour). Nothing extraordinary really, guess nobody else can make out, its merely a comparison of myself in certain situations to earlier (that probably only I remember). Needless to say, miles to go before I sleep.

I found Nipun’s wedding vows to be really useful guidelines, which maybe are kind of engraved in my heart. On a personal basis, I didn’t consider them as vows – because I didn’t want to stick to any pre-defined ideas.

Compared to all, this is the one guideline below that I value the most, and maybe kind of implicitly supports all the others as well:

Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other’s potential and inner beauty as an example, and rather than spiraling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love outwards to all beings? Do you pledge to expand your family to include all living beings?

I believe that anyone who can try out those guidelines will find that this life-experiment called marriage a thoroughly enjoyable one as it has been for me. In school, we learn that family is a unit of society. One thing I learnt from the past one year of experience, is that this unit is also a practice ground to develop understanding, respect and compassion – which one can then apply to the rest of the world as well! 😎

20 Responses to “she managed to put up with me for a year”

  1. Shrinidhi Hande Says:


  2. sulochanosho Says:

    Very Persoanl postings of u! At least you have mentioned the name of your ‘betterhalf’ (if i am right!). Any way it doesn’t matter. Fist of all let me wish ‘the best of best’ on this significant occasion.
    ‘A true married life too is a real tapasya!’

  3. Bendtherulz Says:

    I like the way you took the guidelines and words in your life….warm wishes to you & your partner!

  4. Suresh Panje Says:

    23 May 07

    Dear Sanjay
    What’s life without a wife!
    As for me remaining a bachelor, I wish to recall that nice adage: Bachelors know more about women than the married guys. That’s the reason they are bachelors!

    Anyway, have a cherished married life for all times to come………….

    Sincerely yours
    Suresh Panje

  5. praneshachar Says:

    “One thing I learnt from the past one year
    of experience, is that this unit is also
    a practice ground to develop understanding,
    respect and compassion – which one can then
    apply to the rest of the world as well! ”

    Well said Sanjay it is pure understanding and appreciating
    the views of otheres and respecting others sentiments
    this will go a long way in making life more easy more
    practical. yes it is easy to preach but difficult to practice do agree atleast retrospection will be better

    all the best sanjay and vijetha and more enjoyable days are waiting for both of you certainly it will be different second anniversary !@!!!!!@ alva??

  6. shark Says:

    Belated wedding anniversary wishes 🙂
    Hope you celebrate 100 more of these 🙂

  7. Prashanth M Says:

    I’m late, I know. Still….

    Belated anniversary wishes Mr. & Mrs. Sanjay…

  8. M O H A N Says:

    Belated happy 1st wedding anniversary sanjay!

    Time flies fast… particularly the 1st year isnt it?


  9. Mysorean Says:

    I know I am late, but better late than never.

    Wish you a very happy anniversary and a peaceful married life! 🙂

  10. Charles Vaz Says:

    Amazing write up, a true clear mind,

    Add my Happy Wishes to the millions you have already received,


  11. Veena Says:

    Happy Birthday Sanjay

    -sd/ on 3rd June 🙂 😛

  12. msanjay Says:

    [Should’ve replied to this much earlier but wanted to do it when I was more free (but sometimes when I was free the site was down!) but as Mysorean has said better late than never 😉 ]

    Thank you all – real pleasant surprise to hear from you sulochanaosho, very long time I’ve visited your site, will do so now!

    Thank you Bendtherulz, yeah well its only an attempt – a kind of experiment I can say because its not possible to take it for granted, in trying to take it into our life.

    Ha ha ha Suresh, as a late bachelor I definitely had a lot more theorotical knowledge about women but marriage makes it more practical 😉 And you know its never too late… when I was on I could read testimonials even by 70+ agegroups of finding a life partner, I’m sure you’re younger! Just kidding, but seriously I found some of these posts quite helpful in understanding (relatively!) women.

    Thanks Shark… hmm… wow I wonder where and how we both will be 100 years from now if it comes true! 🙂

    Thank you Prashanth, Mysorean and Mohan!! Mohan, even Vijetha and me were talking about the same thing – in a way time seems to have flown by, and in a way it seems as if we’ve known each other for far far more than just one year, almost like childhood friends.

    Thank you very much Condy (Charles!) And it was quite a personal event and these are all the wishes we received apart from a few friends and family members, and so I’m really grateful to each of you and they’re really valuable! 🙂

    Thanks Veena – really glad you could make it today!

  13. david mcmahon Says:

    Hi Sanjay,

    Thanks for leaving that insightful comment at my blog. Appreciate your viewpoint.

    I’ve just started reading your work. First up, I have to say I really like the artwork uip the top of your blog – and also the line about the process of discovery.

    You’re so right – blogging does indeed reveal our true nature.

    Happy (belated) anniversary and I wish both of you many more.

    How about we post each other’s links on our respective blogrolls? Let me know either way….



  14. msanjay Says:

    hey David nice to hear from you… thanks for visiting and for your kind wishes.

    You’re added on to my blogroll but whether you’d like to do the same depends on your own preference 😉

    After all this time, I think this is the first time someone’s commented about the artwork. The original picture was from the Orange Sky theme from nao and used a smudge tool to create the flames effect (and added the text in the Indian language Kannada which reads Prakruthi – nature) 8) Blogging does reveal our nature, and when I go deeper into my true nature, I find I am burning in fiery flames of hatred – and one of my life’s core purpose is to try and reduce the fuel I have inadvertently been adding to it since eons!

  15. Vasanthkumar Mysoremath Says:

    Your confessional statement about your being a “much better person” after marriage goes to say one thing – that for your writing the thesis and securing a doctorate in life, your guide was your wife who is a Ph.D (philosophical darling)? Am I right? All the best and hope you will be a father of a son soon and that son will guide you through another doctorate degree in life.

  16. david mcmahon Says:

    Hi Sanjay,

    Hoping to see some more updates on your blog! Have visited a few times this week – but I’ve been disappointed to see no new posts.

    Yes, I added you to my blogroll during the week.

    Isn’t it amazing that I’m the first person to comment on the artwork – must be my training in magazine and newspaper design.

    I wasn’t sure what the script was, so thanks for explaining it is Kannada characters.

    Hope to hear from you soon.



  17. msanjay Says:

    Hi Vasanth unc… what a nice surprise to hear from you here 🙂 Ha ha ha that’s very well put, yeah you’re on the dot… and thanks very much for your wishes! And congrats on your World Bank affair! :mrgreen:

    Dear David, I have tons of things to write/post drafts all queued up. Eg I just returned from a very nice trip to Horanadu with my sister and mother. And also some photographs from my first new DSLR (my sister’s all in one gift). Will definitely make some time this week to update something. Its a real priviledge that you added me to your blog roll… thank you! 😎

  18. Srik Says:

    Ha…I am too late, but early enough for a second anniversary wish 😉

    Let me take no more time, well.. common man and the lecturer madam, may you celebrate such happy occasions innumerably in the years to come. Happy Anniversary.

  19. Dr.Prashanth Bagali Says:

    May God Bless you with many more anniversaries.

  20. a common man ಸಂಜಯ » Blog Archive » unforgettable words of a dying old lady Says:

    […] also: she managed to put up with me for a year “…rather than spiraling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love […]

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