Category: home

  • alt-ctrl-del after blogging pause

    Had been more active on facebook and twitter for a while… this had drastically reduced my writing habits.

    Now I feel in my guts its time I resume writing again.

    A LOT of things to write about.

    As a freelancer I’m finding great joy in discovering the vast possibilities with jquery. A reader had asked to elaborate about employee to freelancer transformation, I think I’m in a better position to do this. Also a long pending post of list of ideas for those who’re learning software engineering. (One immediate suggestion: watch the film 3 Idiots)

    As a father I’m finding a lot of joy in the way my son is the one person in the entire world who is most responsive to my curiosity and my enthusiasm for life than anybody else.

    My so far mine (and my wife’s) mostly dormant dreams of working for children, have started manifesting into reality. Initiated with facebook of all things, which connected me to one of the founders of Sikshana.org, who happened by a wild coincidence to be my neighbor! Several other developments on this front as well, will be sharing at appropriate time in the near future…

  • splash of color at home today

    The main one at the front door

    Here are the rest…

    (more…)

  • what to do on father's day?

    Theoretically, this mother’s day or father’s day or this day or that day is just a concept, often exploited for commercial reasons. Every day should be the ‘this or that’ day. But then it doesn’t really happen, and we end up taking people close to us for granted, so its helpful to have atleast one day in a year to guarantee that one person gets some special attention atleast on one day 😉

    (more…)

  • trip to a village again

    Has been quite a while since last time, so about time for another trip to the village… Luckily my mom could join me again and this time my sister as well. It had been a pretty cool trip (inspite of the hot weather) with my brother in law Anand and the three women in my heart – my mother, sister and wife. Only regret was that we hadn’t left earlier in the day! Though it was only a half a day trip – it was one of those times where time stretched making it like an eternity…

    Passed a flowering field with Amma having the time of her life as she loves flowers… though I don’t know how she managed not to pluck any over here!

    [singlepic id=12 w=640 h=480 float=center]

    There was a lovely small lake there and Abhinav had a good time running wild on the huge open bank, and got himself in a mess amidst some convoluted creepers…

    [singlepic id=10 w=640 h=480 float=center]

    Here’s the main purpose of the visit – to meet his great grandmother over a century old…

    [singlepic id=9 w=640 h=480 float=center]

    On the way back passed a nice temple and stopped over for a while… (have a look at the different details in these pictures by clicking on them to get a full screen view)

    [singlepic id=14 w=320 h=240 float=center]
    [singlepic id=13 w=320 h=240 float=center]

    Photo album of the trip…
  • quantum leap beyond a mediocre life

    In physics, a quantum leap or quantum jump is a change of an electron from one quantum state to another within an atom. It is discontinuous; the electron jumps from one energy level to another instantaneously. ~ wiki

    Electrons keep changing – leaping – vibrating – all the time. But minor changes are insignificant. Its said that the only thing constant is change.  Only when the energy level jump is significant, does it really matter as a quantum leap.

    In the monkey story, the monkey is living a happy life initially, then it starts to pick up some wooden apples, becomes so posessive about them, and eventually learns to let them go and get on with life. It’s decisions (i.e. its behaviour) was based on an evaluation. The monkey evaluated the real satisfaction it got from eating fruit (which it probably took for granted), and a hypothetical far superior taste it imagined from the wooden apple. I guess this evaluation of the real with the unreal was what lead the monkey astray.

    But the irony is… that though for a reader it is clear that the monkey’s perception of wooden apples was flawed, for the monkey, it appeared to be very much real. So being in the monkey’s situation, how to overcome this flawed perception?

    There are plenty of situations. Just one example would be a typical case of a person having a more active life online, than facing offline reality.

    In the monkey’s story, would it be possible if the monkey thought long and hard about it? Most probably the monkey wouldn’t even start, wouldnt even acknowledge that such a thing was necessary. And even if it tried that, going by what Einstein said… “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it”, that might not even have worked!

    So some kind of quantum leap is vital.

    In the story,… the monkey’s acute hunger and fatigue was the driver for such a quantum leap.

    But does it always have to happen the hard way….? For many it may never happen at all… as Henry David Thoreu had observed:

    Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

    There is a well known saying…

    A mind is like a parachute, it works only when its open!

    and another maybe lesser known one…

    Nobody ever complained of a parachute not opening…

    Choice seems to be between letting life pass/rip by and plonking ungracefully into a grave some day, or actually landing there with a parachute 😉

    The basic premise of the Arbinger institute is the concept of self-deception, and ignoring it amounts to self-betrayal. As the book Leadership & Self-Deception says, even acknowledging that there is some scope for improvement by itself is a significant first step. (Of course it goes on to give various approaches to going forward).

    There is a phenomenal movie – Patch Adams starring Robin Williams.

    [Of course one might recognise that Sanjay Dutt’s popular time pass comedy Munna Bhai MBBS was based on it it, but while the story line is similar, there is really no comparison at all. Patch Adams has a beauty, quality and depth and in a class of its own]

    The movie begins with Patch (Robin Williams) in a mental asylum with several other patients. One of the patients is an old man, Arthur. Arthur abrubtly confronts people showing them four fingers, asking them “how many do you see??” and getting exasperated with anyone answering the obvious “four”. Patch answers four as well initially. While everyone treats Arthur like yet another lunatic, Patch encounters him again and makes another attempt to answer… here’s the dialogue from that scene script

    Arthur: How many do you see?
    
    Patch:  There are four fingers, Arthur.
    
    Arthur: No, no, no. Look at me.
    
    Patch:  What?
    
    Arthur: Y-You're focusing on the problem.
            If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution.
            Never focus on the problem. Look at me!
            How many do you see?
            No, look beyond the fingers.
            How many do you see?
    
    Patch:  (looking at him, sees a reflection in his eyes) Eight.
    
    Arthur: Eight. Eight. Yes! Yes!
            Eight's a good answer. Yes.
            See what no one else sees.
            See what everyone else chooses not to see...
            out of fear and conformity and laziness.
            See the whole world anew each day.
    

    What is our real potential, and how little are we really living up to it?

    This idea is beautifully explored in the Disney-Pixar movie Ratatouille

    dream big...

    Tony Robbins in his book Awaken the Giant Within You talks about how powerful a decision can be. This of course is a powerful aid by itself. I don’t know how much resolutions work – there might be a shadow of failure involved as well. Just having a strong intention could make a bigger positive beginning. Both Tony Robbin’s book as well as the Seven Laws of Spiritual Success by Deepak Chopra talks about how important an action, however small it may be, is vital to getting things rolling!

    This is not a comparison of the above books, I’m just relating them to each other as I see things from my point of view. I feel each of the books say something very positive and significant, and are well worth reading.

    In general I’m a kind of lazy fellow, and for me I’ve found that this approach works better for me: work on being more clear on what I really want. Once that’s done, do something atleast one small thing, to actually get things rolling.

    I don’t know – maybe one cannot really make a quantum leap in the quality of our life just like that. If we look at nature, a ripe fruit falls naturally, there is no grand plan, it just happens on its own. So I feel instead of resisting it, because a leap is generally into unknown and involve certain amount of risk – one only needs to facilitate it with an open mind

    What I feel is that any kind of leap isn’t just some one time event…  I hope to make it a way of life… like a mountaineer would continuosly ascending a mountain,  like the solution to the nine dot puzzle…

  • celebrating my dad's birthday

    Now, well after almost a decade after my dad died… this year of 2009 we decided to celebrate his birthday a little more significantly than just remembering him.

    So we went to this place called Samarthanam Trust in a quiet corner of Jayanagar, and asked them about any deserving candidate who was a good student but just lacked the opportunity to take their talent further. The caretaker there thought a while, and then came up with the name of a girl who was doing her 10th standard but was in real poverty with her parents struggling to make ends meet. We even got to meet this girl, of course we only had a general conversation with her, and she had some fun playing with my baby son for a few minutes and then went on her way.

    It was nice to have met her, and after she left we wrote the cheque for her, wishing that it would give the chance for the sparkle in her eyes to keep shining!

    We left the place with a sort of undescrible feeling of a quiet joy, and wished the same for my Dad. 🙂

  • to lie or not to lie was no more a question

    Tata’s birthday was last November, and this is something that occurred to me then. But I’ve somehow gone out of touch with writing so not put it down. But though there are lot of articles pending, felt should not postpone this any more… so here goes…

    We had a West End Cooperative Society with Jeejabhai  at the corner of our street. Once  when I was say around 10 years old or so, Amma wanted to buy somethng from there and I too went with her. And she was inside the shop, alone came a baloon man selling a lot of colorful baloons. They looked so cool… I was outside and asked him how much was one – it was 25 paise. Now I really wanted one … what do I do? Asking Amma… not much of a chance. I suddenly got a real smart brainwave – I ran home… and Tata was there – and I told him that Amma wants 25p more. He gave it immediately, I went there and bought my baloon… and came back with Amma waving it triumphantly that With I’d won a baloon with my smartness!As soon as we came home Tata was at the gate and someone asked who got me the baloon I declared my clever trick and laughed about it. Then Tata caught me and took one belt and gave me a sound beating. I cried so much – more than the pain of the beating, it was the fact that Tata whom I loved so much had beaten me. Very rarely I have been beaten by anyone, and least of all Tata –  compared to my other cousins. So a beating for me was much more emotional than physically painful and I felt terribly ashamed of myself and hoped that he would love me again [which of course he did as he continued to be one of my eternal friends till his last moments many decades later]

    But as I grow in my ability to see and examine my own entire life and character, I am able to see that beating was a turning point in my life! Because in those moments of shame and silence that followed the beating – there was a decision not just one that was made by thoughts but a change in my heart, deep inside – that I would never lie.

    Just as an example, I remember another incident many years later in my school days when all of us kids had gone to one of our neighbour’s house, and had put in a lot of sand on a stone bench in his front yard and made all kinds of designs on it. Then the neighbour – a cranky old man – suddenly spotted us from his window and started shouting. All the kids fled – all except one who stayed on… and started cleaning up everything. Even when the old man came out, the kid felt scared but still stood his ground, and took the scoldings which in a few moments stopped and the old man and the kid started cleaning up the place together – then the old man told the kid he could go.

    I can hardly believe I had that kind of courage to be that kid and I thank Tata for it. I gave my own example merely for the reason that really I live to a large extent atleast what I talk about.

    But please note that I am certainly a very dishonest fellow and am only trying to be honest. Consistency is what matters the most – theres no big deal about some ad hoc incidents and I still have a lot more to go to better myself. I’m merely sharing what I have learnt, you are welcome to correct anything or please add to it.

    So coming to the current day, the kids of the next generation are so sharp that they simply learn so much from us – even the things we dont want them to learn! So being honest cannot be some moral science that we “must try to inculcate in them”. Being an example is the only chance we have.

    Agreed that we’re all in general honest people. Even outwardly very honest and sincere people cannot resist for example cooking up rationalisation to cover up or justify any mistakes – this is the kind of honest I’m talking about. For example when we develop a grudge it may well be a lie. Because we come up with perfectly good reasons which are biased – we give ourselves or others a very distorted view about all the things the other person did on why we should be angry with him or her, while we have a completely clean view of ourself! 🙂

    So being honest includes those little white ones that we take for granted as if they don’t count. Many say a little bit is inevitable and supposedly without it there’s no way to survive in the world, but it all too often just becomes a convenient habit. Telling just a partial truth can be a lie as well. Cigarette smoking is a lie – I dont know any smoker who dosent promise himself that its his last day of cigarettes, or convinces himself that there’s nothing harmful about it. Giving false alibis like telling some unexpected guests that we’re not going to be available. Or justify something we know in our heart is wrong, by creating some perfectly rational justification for it by just putting in some past points together (we’d all make very good lawyers that way!). Cheating or bribing children just for fun or to get them to do what we think is right for them (or us). Saying good morning without meaning it can be a lie! 🙂 Inpunctuality, unreliability, lack of commitment and so on are all in the list 🙂

    I know now that with every lie, I’m deceiving not just someone else, but also myself! 🙂 But still lying is so convenient that reversing it can be quite hard. But whenever I’ve succeeded – I know beyond doubt that its also the most natural, carefree, lighthearted, tension – free and healthy way of life! 🙂

    There are so many people who are getting on just fine even with all kinds of lies, even really big ones, so what’s really the big deal about it when everyone is getting away (apparently at least) with it? I feel that if we can learn to be honest fact is that if we learn to honest in ordinary things, then we can learn to be honest in the most important thing of all – we can be really honest in our love to all as well.

  • what to name him

    Thanks a ton – to everyone – who suggested names for my son! Well that almost sounded like poetry, but I guess Robert Frost dosen’t really have to worry about competition :mrgreen:

    That everything is changing – that “The only thing constant is change” – is a well known but most easily forgotten fact.

    The most powerful implication of not just understanding, but digesting and internalising this – is that: EVERY MOMENT IS NEW

    Even with just the little bit that Sanjay somehow seems to have at times managed to do, one thing is clear. That the Sanjay of the previous moment – inspite of all his most precious posessions or regrets or fond memories – is gone. Whatever he knew of love is already old and outdated.

    And that this is a new moment. He’s born again – and he can reinvent himself from scratch. Into a world of infinite possibilities – limitless potential! Life – the good, bad and ugly of it – is always new and fresh. He can always learn to love again, maybe a little more sincerely than before!

    He and his wife quite like the name Abhinav for their son. A name that simply means NEW.

    Something that that happens to be a reminder of these simple, yet most easy to take for granted ideas – to stay new, young, always a student 😎

    araLuva hoova

    ——
    PS: Btw another plus point he found after the decision, was that “Abhinav” had a lower number of google results compared to several other shortlisted names so is relatively more unique 😉

    One of the readers recommended building a site for him like this article says… Tots getting Internet identity at birth. But for now I’d rather let Abhinav just create his own space if he ever wants to 😛

  • the awakening

    Step 1: naanonthu yedheLallappa!
    there’s no way I’m going to wake up!

    Step 2: seri yochane maaDthini
    ok let me consider the option

    Step 3: aithappa nODONa…
    Ok lets see….

    Step 4: nijavaaglu yeddelLebeka

    do I really need to wake up

    Step 5: hecchu kaDime yeddebute konege…
    more or less finally woke up…

    Step 6: yeddu yenappa uddaara maaDbekaagide
    what do I do waking up

    Step 7: innu aidhu nimsha
    5 more minutes

    Step 8: seri, yen samaachaara…
    Ok, what news…

    Step 9: adh yen gOLina prapanchakke bandidinappa!
    What miserable world have I come into!

    Step 10: yenaadru maaDkOLrappa nanpaadage nanna bitbudri
    do whatever you want, just let me be

    —-

    Photos taken by my wife Vijetha, they’re obviously better than what I would’ve managed… 😉 Can we put all these pictures online, I wondered. Our son belongs to the whole world, not just us, she mused. Hope he’s brought a smile to all readers here (in case there are any) :mrgreen:

    —–

    See also: reunion with an old friend