how not to spoil kids?

Written by

As a new parent, I really would appreciate your ideas, experiences and tips on what one might try to avoid spoiling kids?

Especially the key aspect fundamental to an individual’s growth – the ability to forgive. One may live to be a hundred years but without this – one is still a spoilt brat! 😈 So who does one teach this ability?

I acknowledge that there is nothing much we can or need to really teach anybody esp children, I use the word merely as a convenience, make your appropriate pick – encourage, empower, facilitate…

Got a timely mail recently as a follow-up of an Arbinger seminar I’d attended recently thanks to my employer. Some of the institute’s material is available for public download, including this excellent article on the the parenting pyramid.

Though my own son is pretty young, in general I’ve always enjoyed interacting with children, and so could relate to the article which deals with a very difficult and sensitive topic. It answered to a reasonable extent quite a few unasked but tough questions.

The author shows that correcting a kid is merely a minor aspect, and highlights the layers of other factors that are far more important and necessary. Giving more importance to these often too easily taken for granted pre-requisites, would probably help in making any correction maybe unnecessary completely, or with minimal conflicts like anyone would much rather want it to be! 🙂

Comments

4 responses to “how not to spoil kids?”

April 29, 2008

sulochanosho

I have no parenting experience on hand but still add that:
‘regulate less, facilitate more; neither leave them more, nor love them more; let your actions and practices speak more rather than your empty policing moralising words or dictations’. The new generation kids are by default very sensitive, intelligent, absorbing, inquisitive: we need only facilitate them. The society and the governing systems are to understand that so called ‘exam marks’ can not measure the value of a child for he is much much more than that. He/she is bound to transcend all your calculations, categorization, grading that you do on him/her.

Reply
May 3, 2008

praneshachar

It is a very tricky question sanjay each child is unique and I am of the opinion there is no general answer for this. Only thing I can advise don’t pamper the child too much make the child to understand the world when age of understanding comes. teach them values of life ethics etc., But with all this we can not predict how child bloosms watch the co., of child in school particularly high school level where if into bad co., it will take the child away from mainstream. one thing dont force any of your decisions on them make them to understand and learn then life itself will be school and they learn. It is very difficult now a days with so much of things availbale to them so much facilities care it is for them to utilise and for parents to see that they become good citizens. love your child dont pamper treat them as friend when they growup and advise when needed appropriately. we wish all future generation kids get good parents and nations gets good citizens.

Reply
May 8, 2008

Veena Shivanna

I think the easiest is to live/lead by example..
Thanks for the links sanjay

Reply
May 8, 2008

msanjay

thats true sulochanosho hoping the day will come when exam marks are no longer considered as a measure of one’s capacity! But kids may need some sense of direction and fertile ground, or maybe even just to be left alone (like Sir M Vishweshwariah who studied under street lights) before transcending all categorization I guess.

Thats some sound advice Praneshavare – treating them as friend is quite important I think makes a lot of sense!

Yeah Veena though I wouldn’t bet that I’d be any kind of example to my son 😉 (except maybe a bad one )

Reply