from 0.00001 to 0.000011

On a scale of all knowledge from 0 (Nothing), to Infinity (Everything), its really nice to know a little more about myself – though who knows after a few years if I look at the number 0.000011 I might laugh at having overestimated it 😀 But anyway I’m really happy to have learnt a little more as I return from my fourth Vipassana course in the very excellent international center in Chennai.

This one was a special course of slightly shorter duration with a bit more theory, but the idea of the pre-requisites being 3 courses is that people gain experience first and then get into theory. Though I compared it to a PhD, the fact remains that I’m only a kindergarten student 😀

As an engineer, I really appreciated the beauty and clarity of the theorotical aspects. But anyway me being only a beginner – it was more of a “you are here” kind of roadmap 🙂 Buddha for me seems to be a perfect engineer – he starts with clearly identifying and defining the problem. And then after evaluating different approaches, he defined the optimal solution.

I’ve sometimes considered giving a long detailed explanation of exactly what I learn/go through in a course. But the thing is that when I first heard about it from a total stranger whom I met for a few minutes, he never told me anything more than the bare minimum. He just spoke of having “found himself”. I had absolutely no clue about what to expect but somehow there seemed to be something about it. Later… in fact many months later, I managed to dig up the URL and go through the site, and even later managed to wring out the required leave from work and make it to my first course in 2001. The lack of any kind of dogma, and also the strict code of discipline attracted me (because though I’ve usually been indisciplined all my life, I’ve always liked the idea of being disciplined – and I did pretty well there without any difficulties in this aspect). Now some audio public talks are also available.

Hence just as I’ve refrained all these years, I’ll continue to limit it to merely superficial concepts – not for the sake of any secrecy 😉 – just to avoid spoiling the surprise of discovery, or building up any false expectations.

Having been the indisciplined type I haven’t really practiced it as regularly daily as I would’ve liked to. Inspite of that, whatever little I’ve managed so far has made my life immensely satisfying. But I don’t want to list out all the benefits I have received, because they may be quite different from what you receive if you do it.

Having attended a few management kind of programmes as part of my corporate career, I can attest that though I’ve found them pretty useful, this is something that goes beyond any psychological personality development programme.

But anyway, now I’m going to get on with my life as usual. So far its rarely come into conversation, but on occasions when it has – I’ve found the following are frequent questions/comments in italics. It must be noted that my own comments are merely a beginner’s opinions.

—–

This is something Tibetans do.

Maybe they do, I have absolutely no clue. I’m not sure how this matters. I suppose the comment might imply “abandoning the treasury of Indian culture and scriptures and so on why are you getting involved with what some foreigners in some other country do”. Well, the originator, Buddha, was an Indian 🙂 and part of the treasury as well. And I dropped many blind/superficial misunderstandings I earlier had, and developed a deeper understanding and appreciation of everything Indian.

—–

Are you becoming a Buddhist, or is this a Buddhist practice?

This was discovered by the Buddha, but Buddha did not invent Buddhism, his followers did – and in fact many different variations of it. I haven’t changed anything in my routine social or family life and continue to live as a Hindu, but am able to relate much more to any person independent of his religious background. In fact, people of diverse relgions come to take courses.

Btw the practice was supposed to be known in India a long time before Buddha as well, but since he discovered it again – I’ve often seen it referred to as a Buddhist practice.

In India, though I’ve seen plenty of families of all religions have a picture/statue of Buddha at home, they generally don’t want anything more to do with him 😉 Because of the widespread misconception that Buddha declared that there is no God – there is a great deal of insecurity out of the possibility that anything that sounds remotely Buddhist may mean ‘abandoning God’. I am not about to list out my very personal theory out here, but what I do NOT subscribe to even after over four years of practice, is any belief that defines God as just a Void/Nothing/Does not Exist. To the best of my knowledge, Buddha has simply not answer the question clearly at all (he has definitely not explicitly denied God) – and has instead encouraged people to find out about themselves instead.

—–

It is the toughest path.

I’d say its the least glamorous path – but in fact I’ve found it to be a very gentle and incremental approach. Inside the camp, distractions are minimalistic. Hence our internal difficulties get the least place to hide 🙂 Of course in usual circumstances, its not easy for us to acknowledge or even be aware of any internal difficulties stored within us, esp when life is going on smoothly, until they come to the surface at the least expected moments. We feel no need to learning swimming unless our safe and secure boat sinks 🙂 Henry David Thoreau had said “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

In India, the path of Bhakthi – devotion – is usually considered to be the easiest meant for the average man. I have a close friend who’s a firm advocate of this path – when he sings a devotional song – or listens to one – he really feels it – tears of happiness may silently roll down his eyes, such is his intensity. Just enjoying devotional music is easy – and it is certainly useful because atleast at the superficial level one without worry or anger or other negativities – but its not so easy to really getting into such a depth of Bhakthi either.

It may appear that other paths are easier, but that’s because they (whatever little I’ve come across so far including being with a Zen dojo in the UK for a few months while I was working on a project in Bristol) are not as clearly defined, complete and balanced (in my personal opinion). There’s relatively more room for abstraction or ambiguity. But certainly its a matter of an individual’s personal choice and judgement.

Btw the word “path” is mere terminology, over time I find that this path appears to crisscross, interleave, diverge and converge with others – as if in a kind of orchaestrated dance! 🙂

—–

Why meditation? Tried alcohol – drugs – anti-depressants – psychatrist?

🙂 True I have some difficulties here and there just like anybody else I think, and won’t pretend that life is a bed of roses – my blog does not represent my entire life. But so far nothing that keeps me awake all night 8) So certainly the idea of my going to this course was not to solve any particular problem. However as one of the mere side-effects, it generally gives me tremendous strength to brace any storm.

———-

Is it some religious thing?

Its something as simple as say yoga – only an analogy (though some people do imagine that Yoga is a ‘Hindu’ thing). Here in this course, the teachers have no paraphenalia – and there are no blind belief or rituals. The teachers have many years of experience and have undergone many rigourous long courses. But unless you yourself feel like it, you’re not even asked to bow down to them. Even in appearance, they’re down-to-earth ordinary people. You might’ve passed them on some street without noticing earlier 😀 Indeed that’s what they are – ordinary people! No tall claims or credentials or certificates. In fact they are more ordinary than most of us, being full of compassion (and unfortunately in our rat-raced lifestyle, it appears as if such a thing is extraordinary!) Over time I discover more and more things about them, but its best such a discovery is left to each student who persists on the path. Anyway the course is not about them – its about you.

Even after four years, I sometimes find that that suddenly some thing or the other that my main teacher has been saying all the while in the most casual way and I’ve been hearing again and again – suddenly sinks in with a deeper level of understanding!

—–

Is it the same as the Art of Living course started by Sri Sri Ravishankar? Or something similar?

Though there’s an essay called Art of Living and its also the title of a book describing the course. The Art of Living Foundation (commonly referred to as AOL) is a totally different independent establishment that has nothing to do with the VRI. I haven’t attended any AOL course, and in any case I don’t want to get into comparing and evaluating two seperate entities. I know of people who have abandoned or benefitted from either, so this is purely a personal choice. My opinion is that they should be evaluated independent of just one or two ad hoc good/bad opinions based on somebody else’s experiences. Either (or neither) may or may not be for you at this point in time, but you won’t really know until you try it out 😉

———

Is there a center in Bangalore?

There has so far been no permanent center in the whole of Karnataka – courses have been conducted in makeshift camps. But finally there is a center in Bangalore as well in Alur – though currently its in a temporary structure with construction yet to commence for a permanent one (at the same site). Afaik (but not sure) due to lack of infrastructure, for the time the courses are being held for men only. But the courses so far have been going on well at full capacity.

Though this is being more and more prevalent in several states like Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh with government support – with many centers, even granting government employees paid leave to attend courses. This could really be a key factor to help in reduction of corruption – the bane of our country! Because for example, people understand not merely from idealistic moral science lectures, but from their own personal experience, that trying to maintain integrity is actually a self-beneficial scientific way of living. Like how one learns that keeping one’s hand in fire burns it (but so far has been too insensitive to realise it!)

Comments

6 responses to “from 0.00001 to 0.000011”

  1. Rash Avatar
    Rash

    Sanju,
    Good one, but I was hoping to read more about what you actually experienced – questions that got answered, etc.

  2. msanjay Avatar
    msanjay

    Tnx Rash.

    Everybody’s experience is unique. If I start discussing the good aspects, I will probably end up glamorising it to the skies which I don’t want to do 😉 So I’ll just talk about some things I learnt.

    This time I really decided, and managed to, put in a lot more uncompromised commitment – including proper punctuality – consistent till the last day. Another thing is I avoided taking a nap during the break times like I used to during my first few courses, I found that this makes quite a difference.

    Being in the corporate world, its not so easy to take leave. And having taken time off and going there, there’s always some pressure that “I better make sure I benefit from all this” and there’s a sort of evaluation during the first few days “am I doing well?” To a certain extent its good in avoiding complacency, but being too self-critical does not help at all and it took some time to really “let go” and just accept the current situation as it is and not what I would ideally like it to be.

    Apart from that agitation, as usual I faced some other difficulties as well. But the most important things I re-learnt all over again at a deeper level is that peace does not have to depend on waiting for the difficulties to pass away, but even while one is with them! This is a major “paradigm shift” as we say in the corporate world 🙂 [It could lead to a question “does this mean we sit around peacefully doing nothing” which is not the point at all, and these aspects are explained very well in one of the discourses.]

    On questions getting answered – this time, on many days I had a few doubts, but instead of asking the teacher, I decided to try one experiment: “if these doubts stay till tomorrow then I’ll ask him”. Or I would classify it as “this doubt is more for discussion than for the technique, let me ask it after the course”. But typically no doubts remained till the next day! At times the evening talk addressed exactly the question I had in mind on that particular day’s discourse – that was really cool!

  3. Archana Avatar
    Archana

    Dear Sanjay

    Enjoyed your writing and faq. BTW, I have heard from several reliable sources that Sri Sri Ravi Shankar had done a few courses of Vipassana, many years back (before setting up AOL). In fact AOL was also set up much after the book ‘Art of Living ‘ was published by Vipassana Research Centre and it is my guess, that perhaps he was struck by the name of the book and named his organisation the same thing.

  4. msanjay Avatar
    msanjay

    Thanks Archana. I too had heard the same thing for example this post My Nominee For Nobel Peace Prize. Even here it says “Twenty-one years after he emerged from a ten-day maun vrat — the definitive period of his enlightenment, according to his followers”. But he must be having some good reason not to mention it anywhere and maybe we should respect it, hence I didn’t mention it either 🙂 According to a comment on this post, there is no connection. Whether it is there or not, trying to trace it or confirm his past in my opinion is totally needless. Whether it is proved, or disproved… so what? 🙂

    In my opinion, Vipassana is merely a “way of life”. In the 10 day course, there is not much of “preaching” involved, one just learns the bare essentials and its left to one to figure out the specific way to live after the course. Basically it gives people a basis to have their own unique approach to live life spontaneously and happily.

    For plenty of people, doing something as down-to-earth as a 10 day course (only 2 complete meals a day with just “snacks” in the evening, no demanding air conditioned luxurious accomodation, etc) not to mention the schedule & discipline, might sound pretty intimidating. For example, highly conservative people (who can’t take the “risk” of staying away from their religious objects/practices for 10 days) , or alternatively people living the “fast party life” might seem ridiculously stupid and outright unnecessary 😀 So he’s probably trying his own approaches and ideas to inculcate good values to a larger strata of society.

  5. msanjay Avatar
    msanjay

    Kolahpur Vipassana Centre is organising a 10 day Vipassana course with Kannada as one of the languages for instruction and discourse. This course will be held from 5th Aug to 16th Aug. It will be for both males and females. Hence, those who have not been able to do courses in Bangalore, can now take them/guide them to Kolahpur. Kolahpur is a full fledged international centre with a very beautiful campus with all facilities.

    Date of course : 5-8-06 to 16-08-06
    Type : 10 day course
    Address : Deccan Vipassana Research centre, Ramling Road, Aalte, Tal Hatkangale, Dist Kolahpur, Pin 416123
    Tel (0230)2487167, Fax 2487167, E-mail : info@alaya.dhamma.org

    Going from Bangalore : The centre is situated between Kolahpur city and Miraj. One has to take a train to Miraj (overnight Journey). Then take a bus from Miraj to Hatkangale (1 hour journey). Buses can be taken from the bus stand which is quite close to the railway station. All buses going from Miraj to Kolahpur will pass Hatkangale and stop there. Then take an auto to the centre. Alternnatively, the centre also sends a Maruti Van for pick up at certain fixed times.

    Alternatively one can take a taxi from the railway station to the centre.

    A number of trains are available from Bangalore like Rani Chenamma, Jodhpur Express and Ajmer Express which reach Miraj at a convenient time (around 12 noon)

  6. msanjay Avatar
    msanjay

    Just for the record, here’s a mail I wrote to someone who’s relative was diagonised with cancer.

    Not alternative treatment, but a way to face Cancer
    Sincerely wishing that the cancer gets reversed and eradicated! As long as it lasts, this is an approach to face it…

    Now there are plenty of glamorous commercialised institutions talking about meditation. What happens is while many people definitely benefit, others get disillusioned as well not having got many things that they were (directly/indirectly) promised. This creates some prejudice against the whole idea.

    You would know that cancer in most cases is unfortunately – putting it mildly – a nightmare. Afaik, immense pain is inevitable, independent of any kind of treatment. My suggestion would be more of a very effective way to handle the pain – irrespective of what kind of treatment – allopathic or otherwise – decided upon. Some say that the approach has helped reverse cancer as well but that afaik is only a case by case basis and certainly cannot be counted upon as an objective.

    What I’m about to say is not a blind repetition of any books or philosophy but is based on my own experience. If it dosen’t make sense, feel free to either forget it or revert with any query.

    Well pain can be controlled as well as reduced with yoga and meditation, but we haven’t tried that yet.

    There is only a limit to which pain can be controlled. Definitely a lot of meditation or healing techniques give us short-term relief and make us feel that we or a healer or some medicine is getting it under control. But the consistency of this control is not in anybody’s control! Today its fine next week its terrible then try something else, and so on and on. Allopathy (imo) is often the very height of treating the symptom instead of the cause. Natural healing methods though much better (in general) still do not go to the very deepest root cause.

    There are many meditation techniques that fill our body with oxygen and make us energetic or emotionally blisfull and so on. Due to the influence of my very learned grandfather (who lived upto 94) I’ve had an interest in a variety of techniques and theory and so on. (Only as a background activity, I’ve lived my usual active life like everyone else and wouldn’t classify myself as some sort of a “spiritual person” 🙂 )

    I was trained in meditation at a 10 day residential camp in 2001 – and this turned out to be a kind of fundamental basic to everything I had seen or read so far, and have seen or read [tons of Indian & Western literature] ever since then as well. Like the 1s and 0s of computer software.

    I have attended 3 courses so far over these years – the recommended is one course a year. You might’ve heard about it, you can read about it at http://www.dhamma.org The website gives the code of discipline – which includes a code of silence and so on, but not the actual technique itself because its based more on experience rather than theory.

    By fundamental basic – I mean that over this basic foundation, people can invent new techniques, write new theories, and do countless other things.

    I am not authorised to explain the technique itself but about its benefits to me. There are many, like becoming energetic, overcoming fears, anger, jealousy, addictions, etc in a very natural way without resorting to any psychological tricks like counting to 10, etc. In fact rather than “overcoming using willpower”, its more of a natural process in which they just dissipate by themselves gradually over time.

    Becoming energetic etc is very good in achieving ambitions, etc, and might get fulfilled by many other much easier to learn meditation or personality development methods (for example by learning from a book right at home, or attending a 2 or 3 day camp or 1 hour class every day for a week, etc).

    But who knows what life has in store…

    One thing that happened to me at one time on an adventure camp: I slipped down the stairs of a caravan in a very remote place in UK. It was late night and there were no doctors around, except one who said he has resolved never to practice while on vacation [He was and continued to be a very good friend, and this stance was very surprising – I didn’t know whether to appreciate him for his principles or wonder if he lacked kindness 😀 but that was the least of my concerns!] He did offer me a box of painkillers that I just kept with me but didn’t want to take. While they went to the local pub, I just lied down on the bed and tried to get some rest. I had to endure tremendous physical pain in my back for quite a long time that night trembling with fever. But due to the ability acquired by practicing this technique, I was able to observe the pain objectively. There was pain but there was minimal, almost neglible suffering.

    It so happened that I was able to venture into the walk as well the next day. The pain was still there – much lesser though, and after a while it mysteriously disappeared! I could complete the 10 km walk along the spectacular coast. As far as I was concerned, this was a personal miracle for me. I have had several other such miracles as well (with no intervention of any other healer or other persons). But miracles are not the point at all.

    The main benefit in this context… is that it facilitates in developing a tremendous depth of detachment. Now “detachment” is one of the core ideas behind all our vedanta and shastras etc – but there is only a certain limit to which one can intellectually practice detachment. This technique goes far beyond the intellectual level.

    I’m a hardcore scientific sceptic and whether its a cure or not one must find out for oneself. I dont claim that its a cure. It must be discovered with one’s own experience. Though there are many actual cases recorded, all people dont get their diseases cured at one shot – each person’s experiences and benefits are unique.

    But in the case of the incident I mention above, the main point is that even if the backache had come back I would’ve still faced it again – maybe next day I would’ve been in a position to see a doctor! :mrgreen: The key idea is that I’m free from suffering – that my happiness & peace of mind – to a large extent – does not depend on any circumstances such as my backache going away. Its independent* of my current physical conditions, finance, status and countless other parameters.

    *independent = independent only to a very large extent compared to what it was earlier for me, but its important to note that I’m just a novice! 🙂

    So the case of cancer, if the patient gives this technique a try and learns it succesfully, he could go ahead and still continue the investigation of the best treatment possible. But this will help him face it better.

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