the game of destiny

This morning I missed the morning shuttle – the next one is only at 11:15. I came back home, and sat in the hall.

My mind wandered around and I started thinking of yesterday’s meeting.

Ok let me assume that they were really not interested. There are some regrets that I could’ve presented myself better – maybe really try to convince Shylaja that marriage wasnt such a bad idea. Maybe I was just too casual about the whole thing (not that this is the first time for that).

Then I have two courses of action.

Either accept that this is a lesson from life, and let it go, and carry on. Remember that everything happens with a reason, for the good. Simply let it go, Shylaja was probably better off without me, and carry on.

Or try to do something about the situation – write a letter to her parents in Mysore expressing my interest and asking if they need any clarifications.

And when I was thinking of this, the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was from Mysore – my mother answered it.

It turned out that the family and the girl actually liked me and they had agreed.

I felt surprised, happy, and humbled all at the same time. I felt grateful for the Universe, because I had really believed that I would be priviledged to share my life with a girl like her.

This time my mother was convinced, and even her sister had approved of it. Later on, my uncle came and then after hearing about it, almost inevitably commented that the girl’s father had afterall been some clerk long ago. He said he knew some managing director of some institute who was also looking for someone for his daughter, and said “imagine how prestigious it would be if he could go around saying that his maava is an MD”. Ugh. But I doubt if my mother would get influenced too much, she’s more convinced about my doDamma’s opinion than my uncle’s.

There is no doubt in my mind at all about my endless quest to discover myself. That is the highest priority more than anything else. I want to make it very clear to her before really confirming anything. Of course new questions are there – does the girl really know what she’s getting into. Would she really be able to digest the idea of a meditative lifestyle. I’m trusting that time will provide an answer.

I’ve had mukajjiya kanasu in my bookshelf for over a year – planned to read it but never got down to it. I havent read Kannada since schooldays except once in a way. Will take it out now! 🙂

[I had planned to start off around a year ago with a thin book and even that though interesting I’d read only around 60%].

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